I’ve been sitting here for a while in the quiet as my children have been taken away for a few days by their Nanna for a visit. She had a few days lined up in lieu from her job and decided to use them on her Grandchildren. Although I think this is wonderful, that she would do that, I am now thinking that it’s more wonderful for me….the quiet is just precious, something I forget about instantly when they’re here but completely embrace when the few moments arise when they’re not.
So, as I sit here just thinking about how beautifully quiet it is, I have started to feel an overwhelming sense of exhaustion and the thought of sleep creeps in.
Now, I’ve been quite the lucky one in that all 4 of my children have slept soundly through the night from very young ages, no-one is more grateful than I for that so I can’t put the blame on that, but it’s the getting to sleep that haunts me and has done since as far back as I can remember and for the life of me, I just can’t work out a trigger point as to why I have so much trouble. And, when extra stresses or situations arise, it gets that little bit worse.
The last few months have certainly provided me with extra stresses and all I can say, is that right now, I feel I could sleep for weeks! But, I think an early night and a sleep in tomorrow morning will suffice, especially if it happens :)
Sleep deprivation is such a dangerous thing, we all know that. Don’t drive, don’t operate heavy machinery, don’t do anything that may cause something to explode! What I think about is that although we all know full well we’re not supposed to do these things when we’re tired, what, when it just can’t be helped due to circumstances where we just can’t sleep enough or well enough to avoid them?
Our jobs whether they be out there or just at home, in reality, have to be done regardless of how sleep deprived we may be. That is scary because only we know how much sleep we haven’t had and how much we need. Those that are sleep deprived for whatever reason, may it be a new baby, insomnia, a snoring partner, inconsiderate neighbours or the dog that just never stops barking, everyone’s reasons for having little of it are so different but ends in the same result, feeling utterly exhausted and sleepy but knowing that we still have to get up everyday and do whatever it is we need to do to pay our bills and look after our homes and families. And funnily enough, as much as it’s dangerous to do so much while tired, I just don’t believe that a boss would accept a phone call saying “I won’t be in today because I’m too tired and need to sleep” and that to me is sad. How can you try and make yourself function better when people don’t really take it as seriously as it should be. Such a vicious cycle.
So, I’m going to take the opportunity these next few days to rest and try and get sleep whenever it decides to take hold of me. I’ll be glad to have as many “nanna” naps as I can and get to bed as soon as the sleep moment comes to get me. I usually ride through these moments because it’s once the kids have gone to bed (like so many others) that I do all my work. Whether that be “normal” stuff like cleaning, ironing, making lunches, setting things up for the next day etc, or thinking about ways to promote this new venture, collating information and learning more. And then there’s always the moment that comes where you sit or lie and just think, mainly of the innane. You know what I mean, all the bad things, the things that decide to worry you and become even more worrisome in the dark but really have no substance or at least in the light of day, have a fully reasonable explanation. This is what grates on my nerves the most, not being able to sleep because your mind decides it’s at that precise moment it’s going to go into overdrive and won’t let you have the thing you so desperately need and want.
Yes, I do find that meditation helps, but only before the “innane” section of the night comes to play :)
I’m crossing my fingers and toes that I get some dear sleep tonight and that I “nanna” nap my little heart out tomorrow as do I cross them for all of you in a similar place.
May you all enjoy a sound nights sleep with good and happy dreams and that you wake up all refreshed and raring to go. I look forward to it and to putting up my Christmas Tree tomorrow evening ready and waiting for when the precious little tornados comes home with giggles and screams of delight and it starts all over again…